Pieces of Us
by megzz78
Summary: A collection of one-shots that snapshot the moments in Alex and Piper's lives (the good and the bad).
1. Trainwreck

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with this story.**

**This story will contain a collection of one-shots that snapshot the moments in Piper and Alex's lives. Some will be fluffy and light, while others will be dark and heavy. I will explore different story lines and make my own as I go and I will add various drabbles over time.**

**The first installment is a variation of Piper's thoughts the night before she leaves Alex in Paris. I always kind of wondered what might have been going through her head at that time.**

**It is really fucking late as I am writing this so I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes that may exist.**

**And finally, don't forget to review, because they serve as motivation for me to crack out more stories.**

* * *

Her breath is heavy. She slowly inhales and exhales a jagged breath.

To her left, is possibly the most beautiful thing she has ever laid eyes on.

Wrapped in a white hotel sheet that stops just above the waist and exposes her bare back and the intricate tattoos inked on her skin. A mass of long limbs spread carelessly across the immaculately white sheets. Luscious dark locks splayed everywhere that vibrantly contrasts against the white linen of the hotel pillow. The smell of wine drifts from the soft pillows of her lips as she steadily breathes into the humid night air and the smell of her vanilla scented perfume is engrained in the crook of her neck.

That is Alex Vause.

She is a breath-taking sight, really.

And that is why Piper Chapman feels the sultry tears prick at the corner of her eyes.

They are a mess.

An absolute train wreck.

There was a time when she _loved _being corrupted by Alex Vause.

There was a time when the raven-haired beauty sleeping next to her in the bed consumed her every thought. Her face haunted the blonde everywhere she went and looked. She couldn't escape her.

Alex Vause was an addiction; a sweet addiction that Piper could not quit if she even tried.

She was intoxicating. She was faithful. She tasted like heaven. She gave Piper a rush of adrenaline that no other drug could.

And she loved the drug that is Alex Vause.

Maybe too much.

Alex is bad for her. She knows that. She knew that from the start. She should have run, escaped when she had the chance.

She just wanted to feel special and bad.

Falling in love… now that was something she hadn't planned on. That just sort of happened.

Their love affair was an emotional roller-coaster of a ride. They fell in love even when they shouldn't have. They broke other hearts in the process, carelessly stomping on them. They fought; tirelessly, relentlessly. They hurt each other in unimaginable ways. They always came crawling back to each other. They were attracted to each other like two magnets. And perhaps, somewhere along the way they had fallen out of love with each other? At least, that's what Piper suspects. She doesn't really know.

They are both selfish when it comes to love.

Alex chooses work over Piper. She says that working for a drug cartel is kind of like selling your soul to the devil. You can't just quit, it doesn't work like that. They own you.

Piper hangs on, clings to the stretched fabric that remains of their relationship. Even though she knows that they will never work. It is time to grow up. It's selfish of her to continue investing herself in a relationship that she knows will never work… she knows that.

It's time to let go.

She doesn't regret any of it.

This isn't a game. This is her life.

But, it's time to make a new life. To close one door and open another.

She will always cherish moments like this.

But, it's time to make new memories.

She hates herself. She hates herself so fucking much right now. She is about to rip someone's world apart, to witness it all come crashing down.

She knows that it is callous and cold of her to leave Alex like this.

Without closure.

But, she has to.

It is the only way that she can free herself from the chains that hold her down and the life that is surely not good for her.

She and Alex are like fire and gasoline.

An explosion waiting to happen.

A time bomb that is ticking mercilessly.

She closes her eyes for a moment before she slowly blinks them open. She's trying to convince herself that she is making the right decision.

"Babe…"

The soft, raspy whisper through the darkness is enough to break the blonde from her inner thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about?" A dark eyebrow shoots up in question and a trademark Alex Vause smirk becomes visible through the slight illumination of the moonlight.

"Nothing," the blonde gulps guiltily, shooting her lover a soft smile.

Suddenly, her fingers are laced with the brunette's, their skin colliding with a spark of heat and electricity.

She forgot how normal this felt.

Alex is sucking her back in. Her powers are almost too strong. She is inevitable.

"I love you kid."

Her voice is like poison.

Seductive as hell, yet, dripping with the sweetness of honey.

"I love you too," Piper manages to get out, guilt consuming her like a vicious fire.

It feels rehearsed.

It doesn't come out as effortlessly as it once did.

Lips as soft as velvet make contact with the exposed skin of her back.

They slowly make their way to her neck.

Electricity shoots through her veins.

She feels a rush.

A thrill.

Nobody has ever made her feel that electric.

And she is fairly certain that nobody ever will.

They are like coffee and cigarettes.

A really fucking good combination. But at the same time, a really fucking toxic combination.

She knows what she should do.

She should tell Alex what she feels. What she thinks. She really, should.

Instead she turns.

She snuggles back into the warm depths of her soon to be ex-lover's arms. She attaches her lips to Alex's. Her hands explore the black depths of Alex's hair. Her skin ignites on fire with the simple contact of Alex's.

Tomorrow she will tell Alex.

But for tonight, she will stay.


	2. The Dangerous Games That Play Us

**This one-shot is a sort of AU take on Piper leaving Alex in Paris. I felt that with the show, we didn't really get to see a whole lot of their actual break up and I imagine that there was a lot more too it than what we saw. I also wanted to explore what could have happened had Alex went after Piper. I've read lots of stories where Piper has been the one to go after Alex so I thought that I'd switch it up. I was a little skeptical of this one and still am so feedback would be much appreciated! Also please keep in mind that I wrote this rather quickly and very late at night so I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors, as I am sure that there are many.**

**Also I own nothing in regards to the characters. **

* * *

Numbness overtakes her body as her eyes shut tightly, tirelessly attempting to fight back the tears that gently began to slide down her pale cheeks. She has never felt so weak, so vulnerable, in her entire life.

Alex Vause isn't the type of woman to display emotions. She has a hard exterior, masked by confidence and an air of superiority. But, on the inside, she is soft and vulnerable, full of emotions bubbling at the surface and just waiting to escape.

She clutches the bottle tighter to her chest, taking another violent swig, the alcohol burning her insides in the most desirable of ways. This was her coping mechanism. Whenever life got hard, whenever she was so fucking stressed, whenever she was running from something that scared the hell out of her, that was when she drank excessively. To avoid feeling any emotions.

But, for the first time in her life, it wasn't working.

All she could think about was the blonde that she had let go.

Her mother was dead. The love of her life had escape beneath her fingers.

She had nothing.

Yet, the only thing on her mind was the blonde who had massacred her heart.

She still felt. She still craved and yearned. It didn't matter how many meaningless one night stands she had, nothing could ever fill the void in her heart that Piper had left when she exited that hotel room.

_Flashback_

"_Alex, I can't be your girlfriend anymore…"_

_The words ring through her mind like a film reel on repeat. _

_She stares out the window harshly, watching the rain pour down on the asphalt. All signs of any emotion seemed to be void from the dark-haired beauty's lifeless eyes._

_Her whole world has just come crashing down around her._

"_Alex… Hello..." Piper was waving her hand in front of Alex's face. "Earth to Alex."_

"_What?" Alex snaps, her eyes darkening as they bore into Piper's._

"_I said I can't be…"_

"_I know what you fucking said Piper," Alex cuts in harshly, her eyes continuing to stare into the rain that pelts the streets of Paris below them._

"_Al…"_

"_I can't fucking believe you."_

"_You have to understand why I'm doing this Alex. It what's best for us. We are bad for each other, like really fucking bad for each other. An unhealthy addiction if you will…" Piper's voice was firm but her eyes were full of regret and sorrow, perfectly capturing the emotions that she was feeling._

"_Then leave. Get out. I don't fucking care," Alex lies, brushing Piper off with the wave of her hand. "Go live your boring ass life."_

"_You know what your problem is Alex?" Alex opens her mouth to respond but Piper doesn't even give her a chance to answer. "You have done everything in your power to sabotage this relationship because you're afraid of feeling. You're afraid of the way that I make you feel," Piper dares, challenging Alex with her eyes. She is standing dangerously close to Alex right now._

"_Is that what you think it is?" she snorts with an irritated chuckle. "You're the one breaking up with me… I love you Piper, and yes, it scares the fucking hell out of me because I have never felt the way that I feel about you with anyone else before. I opened my heart up to you and gave you everything that I fucking had because you were different than the others. I am who I am Piper and I change for no one. You knew what you were getting into when you entered this relationship." The words are cold and harsh as they flow from her mouth. "I thought you were different but you're not… you're just the same as the others."_

"_I can't do this anymore, Alex. I am so sick and tired of fighting with you. I am so sick and tired of coming second to your work, which is highly illegal and very dangerous might I add, and I am so sick and tired of you looking for ways to guard yourself from me. You keep pushing me away and refusing to let me in!"_

_Alex doesn't say anything for a moment. Silence consumes them as Alex continues to stare blankly out the window. This all seems so unreal._

"_What do you want from me Piper?"_

_Piper takes in a deep breath and exhales. "What do I want from you Alex? I want you to fight for me, for us! When I picture my life in five years, I want to be settled down, maybe with a family. My vision for the future is so different than yours, Al. But, yet, I always imagined that in five years it would be you that I settled down with. And, I still want that, but we can't… I mean we can't do that with the job that you have and the life that we are living right now. It's time to snap out of this fairy-tale and back to reality. But, you…" she shakes her finger daringly at Alex, her hazel orbs growing cold. "You don't want to fight for our love. And that makes me doubt our future together."_

_It all happened so fast. One minute they were together and in love. Then the next minute, they were fighting and their passionate love affair was over, soon to be faded to dust. _

"_I can't do this right now," Piper mutters breathlessly, a tear escaping the corner of her eye. She looks at Alex pleadingly, as if to give the brunette one more chance to make things right._

_Alex doesn't move._

_Piper does. _

_She's out the door, presumably to grab a breath of fresh air and probably book herself a plane ticket back to the United States._

_The next few hours are hell._

_Alex finds out that her mom has just passed away. That is exactly what she needed to hear on top of the love of her fucking life leaving her. God, the world was a cruel and cold place. What the hell did she ever do to deserve this kind of pain?_

_When Piper returns she informs Alex, more calmly this time, that she is still leaving… even though Alex's mom is dead. _

_Alex can't fucking believe her._

_She fucking hates Piper Chapman._

_And then, without mercy, Piper Chapman leaves. She exits Alex's life just as quickly and messily as she had entered it all of those years ago._

_End Flashback_

It's been six months. The most torturous six months of her life.

Although dealing with emotions has never been her strong suit, Alex Vause knows that she has to make things right.

She has to see if there is still a spark between them.

She is ready to let Piper Chapman all the way in. Because, Piper is the only person that she can even imagine spending the rest of her life with. And she is miserable without her.

Hands shaking, Alex picks up her phone, closing her eyes tightly and letting a deep breath escape her lips, before blinking her eyes open. She has to end this all. It's the only way that she will be able to live her life again.

She's tired of feeling empty.

She's tired of living yet being dead on the inside.

* * *

She's on a plane… a plane that is heading back to the United States. She stares out the window deadly, her heart nearly thumping out of her chest as the plane nears its landing.

Kubra wasn't happy with her. He made sure that Alex knew this when she gave her resignation. Leaving the drug cartel was hard. Because, working for an international drug cartel is like selling your soul to the devil. But, Alex had been one of his top importers for such a long time that he made it a little easier on her. She was able to pay him out and walk away safely.

* * *

Alex is standing outside of Piper's apartment, nervously jamming her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans and tightly pulling her leather jacket against her chest. She feels like a nervous teenager falling in love for the first time.

Alex had managed to track Polly down and after much convincing, retrieved Piper's address.

She knew that Polly disliked her. But, Piper must have been miserable without her too, otherwise Polly wouldn't have given her the crumpled up piece of paper with Piper's address scrawled in loopy handwriting across it.

This was it. The moment of truth.

It was late and she felt bad for imposing. But, she didn't know what else to do. She was so broken. And she needed to know if Piper was too.

Her hands were shaking uncontrollably as she lifted her hand and pressed her knuckles against the wooden door.

Alex tapped her foot impatiently as she waited. A few minutes passed and Alex sighed… maybe it wasn't meant to be.

As she was about to turn and leave, the sound of light footsteps stopped her dead in her tracks. The sound of the lock jingling filled her ears and soon the door was pushed open.

Piper stood on the other side, clad in her pyjamas, looking just as beautiful as the day that she had left Alex in Paris.

Alex had replayed this moment over and over in her head on the plane. And now here she was, standing a few feet away from the woman who had ripped her heart out and stomped on it.

Piper looked tired; her eyes sunken, dark circles gathering underneath them. Her golden blond locks stood up in every direction and she did not look impressed.

Alex let out a small breath; one that she hadn't even realized she'd been holding.

"A-Alex… W-what the fuck are y-you doing h-here?" the blonde stutters sleepily. For a second, Piper thinks that she might be hallucinating, with the lack of the sleep she's had.

"Pipes…" she whispers, reaching forward and tangling her fingers in the blonde hair, resting her head against her chest, which is beating rapidly at the moment.

"No!" Piper shakes her head furiously and pulls away. "You don't get to do this… You don't get to show up on my door step at two o'clock in the morning after six months of nothing."

"I need you," Alex whispers breathlessly, emotion swirling in the depths of her dark green eyes. "I love you. I'm sorry… fuck Pipes… "

"Alex I can't do this. I'm sorry," Piper whispers, tears flowing from her eyes as she goes to shut the door.

Alex blocks the door with her hand. "I'm done," she whispers. "I quit the cartel."

"What?" Piper looks at her with wide eyes.

"I'm really fucking good at moving large amounts of heroin. And I loved my life, I really did," a ghost of a smile appears on her face. "But, none of it is worth it without you. My life… it has no purpose without you in it. And I am always a better person when I'm with you."

"Alex, you can't…" Piper backs away slowly when she sees Alex coming towards her. "You can't come to my house after six months without a word and tell me those things. You just can't!"

"I tried so hard to forget about you Piper," Alex whispers quietly. "I tried so fucking hard. I threw myself at every woman that I could but I never felt anything. None of them were even remotely close to being you. I started drinking heavily because then I could temporarily forget about you and the hole you stabbed right through the middle of my fucking heart. Then, I turned to heroin. I hated the drug but I loved the high. It was the best girlfriend I ever had because it never fucked me over and it always made me feel better…"

"You turned to heroin?" Piper looks at her incredulously. "Jesus Alex… you know how bad that shit is for you."

"Yeah, well… I was really fucked up. I didn't know what else to do Pipes. I have been a complete mess these past six months. I've barely had the motivation to get out of bed most days…"

"Alex, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I really am… But you have to understand why I did what I had to do. We are so bad for each other Alex and we always hurt each other. It wasn't right to stay with each other when all we did was fight and hurt one another. I couldn't be in a relationship like that and neither could you… even if you can't see it right now."

Alex can see the pain that hides behind Piper's hazel orbs. "I fucked up, I know that. I did some pretty shitty things and I'm sorry. But, I always loved you Piper. And I always will. I'm sorry that I could never be the woman that you wanted me to be." In her heart Alex knows that she probably never deserved someone like Piper. But she wants to try and live up to that expectation. She wants to be that woman that deserves to be loved by someone like Piper.

"I'm sorry this was a mistake, I should go…" Alex mutters embarrassedly, her eyes casting a glance at the ground, when Piper doesn't respond. She rests her hand gently on Piper's cheek. "Take care of yourself Kid… and remember that I'll always love you."

"Alex…" Piper's eyes soften as she grabs Alex's wrist and examines it with her eyes. "Wait… What… what is this?" she hesitates, running her fingers along the scars that adorn Alex's arm.

"Like I said… I'm sorry I couldn't be the woman that you wanted me to be."

"I just wanted you to be yourself Alex…" Piper whispers. "I wanted you to be real with me and stop hiding behind that stupid hard ass exterior you put up. Because, when those walls broke down, the person behind them was simply amazing…"

As she stared into Alex's eyes, Piper could see just how badly she had broken the brunette. "I missed you…" she whispered. "more than you'll ever know. And, it means so much to me that you gave up the life that you loved for me. That's all I ever wanted for you. I couldn't stand to see you ruining your life anymore." Alex nods silently. "The truth is… I missed you every day that we were apart, Al. I never stopped thinking about, and I sure as hell never stopped loving you either."

"Pipes, do you think there's a chance that we could ever… you know… be together again?" Alex hesitates slowly. She sounds so vulnerable and Piper thinks that it's absolutely beautiful.

"Sometimes when you love someone you have to set them free and if they come back to you then you know it's meant to be," Piper smiles, taking Alex's hand with her own. "I think that we have a long way to go before we get back to the way things used to be. But, I do believe that you came into my life for a reason, and I also think that you came back into my life for a reason too."

The two ex-lovers stand there for a brief moment, staring at one another, the spark that once burned so immensely between them starting to ignite again.

"Fix me," Alex whispers, closing her eyes tightly and letting herself fall into Piper's embrace. "I'm so broken…"

"Okay," Piper whispers without fail.

Alex sighs as she feels the tears gently slide down her cheeks. She has never felt more comfortable in her life. She has completely stripped her soul and let Piper see the broken parts of her that she usually conceals.

She doesn't know what will happen to them in the future but she'd like to think that they will be okay. They have to be. They've already been through more in five short years than most people go through in a lifetime.

Everything in life happens for a reason. Every heart ache is meant to make you stronger and every mistake is meant to teach you a lesson.

If anything, Piper taught her the immensity and the meaning of love.

* * *

**So much angst! I promise that I have two works in the process that are a lot fluffier. I know that I haven't updated in so long but I recently started a new job that is very stressful and requires me to work insanely long hours so I just won't have the time to update as frequently as I would like. However, I will do my best to update as frequently as I can! Both of the one-shots I'm currently working on are fairly close to being done so y'all can expect some much quicker updates, I'm hoping, as I have some days off coming up and will have some time to finish those up! Thanks for being patient with me guys, and don't forget to review, as it serves as motivation and helps me update even quicker!**


End file.
